About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
