You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
