yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
