Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
