how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
