She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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