Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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