My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
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Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
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Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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