So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This is the prime rib incident all over again
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
