You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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