Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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