don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
