Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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