FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We're too hungover to prance.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
