i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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