when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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