office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
