WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
