Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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