There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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