IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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