All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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