Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
