will power is for people who don't want to get laid
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's never too late to be topless.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
