Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
