Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
