And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
