I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
