my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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