I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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