who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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