i think my mom watched the whole time
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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