we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
