Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jger and an empty bed here Friday.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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