we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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