Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
