we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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