my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
