He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
