I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
