it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize