This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
