I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he was CRYING into my vagina
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
