I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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