So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
