Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
