I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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