dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My balls are so social today.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
