Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
