I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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