hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
