belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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