my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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