But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
