She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
