my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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